Let Go
by Azurelight1472
Summary: Oneshot: Set after season 2 episode 9 where Two discovers more about her past but now has even more questions left unanswered and basically having an existential crisis. Five and Six attempt to make her feel better.


Since the first time she encountered Rook I felt that the interaction had affected Two more than she allowed herself to show . We can see that especially in S1 E12 when she's speaking with One about the whole ordeal. I wanted to sort of just delve deeper into that because I'm sure there must've been some occasions in which she spent sleepless nights just thinking about Dwarf Star Technologies and questioning her entire existence. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!

* * *

"_Excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedies; these mishaps you've bubble-wrapped when you've no idea what you're like. Let go, let go. Jump in. Oh well what are you waiting for? It's alright cause there's beauty in the breakdown_"

* * *

Two turned impatiently in her bed, attempting to catch some much needed rest. Why couldn't she just fall asleep already? The only thing she had managed to have for the past week or so were restless nights where she would awaken halfway through her sleep after being tormented by yet another nightmare. She couldn't keep going like this, not if she wanted to be at her fullest potential in order to lead to the best of her abilities. She couldn't let her crew suffer because of her own issues. They needed a strong, capable leader not an anxious and sleep-deprived zombie. Her nanites certainly helped, but she could only ask so much of them.

_Nanites..._

The thought of her own body and its components only led to more intrusive thoughts. She twisted once more, legs becoming entangled in the sheets. Two kicked her legs in frustration, attempting to untangle herself from the jumble of blankets.

_Dwarf Star Technologies. Rook._

The nightmarish facility with its sterile cold environment and blinding lights. Hard as she might try, she couldn't get the images out of her mind. What horrors she'd had to endure in that god forsaken place? What tortures? They had stood by and deliberately made her life a living hell with no mercy, with no humanity. And yet they claimed her to be the inhuman one. And for what purpose? Why had they created her? Were there more like her? Did she really want to know the answers to all of those questions? Could she handle the truth about herself? She was in a way thankful for the memory loss after stasis; she didn't know what kind of psychological damage she would be dealing with should she remember the torture she had been put through in her earlier years.

Giving up on the idea of being able to rest,she sat up with a start, a sweaty, panting wreck. Bringing one hand up touch her forehead she gave a slight shake of her head as if to clear the thoughts away.

Deciding that a long cold shower should help ease her nerves, she got up and headed for the bathroom while hastily picking up a towel on her way.

She stood there, letting the water cool her head while watching the droplets of water cascading down her body and into the drain.

* * *

The shower hadn't helped her nerves at all the way it normally would. If anything, it had left her feeling more alert and she needed something to do seeing as she wouldn't be getting any sleep anytime soon.

Two began heading for the training room, determined to take out her frustrations on one of the punching bags. Carefully she wrapped her hands with the white wrap and began her therapeutic session of beating the hell out of the bag.

She closed her eyes and all she could see was his face: Rook. That awful smirk that made her sick to her stomach. How could she ever live her life without constantly looking over her shoulder, knowing he would haunt her down until the end of time? She had to do something about him, but she needed answers first.

She imagined him right there standing in front of her and she hit the bag with more strength than was necessary.

She pictured the hospital lights. The surgical table. The straps around her wrists and ankles holding her down.

She punched again.

Scientists, doctors, people who saw her as nothing more than a lab rat and treated her as such.

Another punch.

She could almost hear the scraping sound of scalpels hitting a metal tray. The noise of a medical saw that sent chills up her spine.

She managed to break out of her thoughts and kicked the punching bag for good measure before throwing her hand wraps at the ground letting them fall haphazardly.

Breathless and dehydrated after her work out, Two headed for the mess hall. Not expecting anyone else on the Raza to be up at this time, she was surprised to see that Six was already in the mess, sitting at the metal table with a protein bar and a drink.

"Can't sleep?"

He spoke up the moment he saw her. Two simply shook her head slightly as a response and moved to grab the water pitcher and a cup.

"Yeah, same" she heard him mutter.

"What's got you all amped up Two?"

She took a seat across from Six and drank all the water from her cup before pouring herself some more.

She looked away from him momentarily, debating on whether she should open up about what was bothering her.

"Come on, talk to me" he insisted gently.

"It might make you feel better if you get it out of your system"

"I.." she stopped as abruptly as she had begun

How could she put it into words?

She stared down at the cup her fingertips held by the rim and swished the water around.

She took a deep breath before speaking once more.

"It's Rook. I can't get my mind off him, and whatever the hell happened to me when I was under his supervision. Eric said they tortured me, pushed my body to its limits. I keep having these recurring... dreams. I'm in a medical table, strapped down and I can't move. There's doctors in white coats and masks surrounding me. They're looking down at me, beside me, all around me shining lights in my face and using all sorts of medical devices on my body."

Two continued to fidget with the cup she held before taking a quick sip from it.

"I can't escape, I can't scream. I'm just... trapped."

She sighed and brought a hand up to run over her head and push her hair to the side.

She licked her lips in a nervous manner before looking up to meet Six's eyes.

He simply stared back at her, but she couldn't tell what she saw. Was it sympathy? Pity? Or did he think her unfit to be their leader? No, she knew better than that. He wouldn't judge her so harshly since not one of them was above obstacles in their lives.

He finally spoke up, breaking the silence between them

"You need to let go, Two. What's been done has been done and there's nothing you can do to change that. He's a cruel man who hurt you pretty bad, I'm not denying that. You have every right to be upset, and it may take a while before you've fully come to terms with what happened to you at that facility, especially since you don't even have all the information that you're dying to get and that's perfectly understandable...it must be messing with your head; not knowing."

Six paused to take a quick swig of his drink, then looked directly into Two's eyes as he spoke

"You know it's okay to need some time to get your bearings together, to take some time to yourself. You don't have to force yourself to be strong all the time, or act as if nothing happened. Like I said before, it's okay to let others take care of you once in a while.

His voice was gentle and understanding, leaving Two to simply stare at a loss for words.

"And Rook", Six continued,

"he let them hurt you. All those doctors, all those scientists. But you found a way out of there. You defended yourself and you escaped. You have to make peace with the fact that you may never get all the answers you want. Going back there would be suicide. And torturing yourself with all these thoughts and ideas isn't going to make things better either. So let go Two, let go."

* * *

After her conversation with Six she had felt more at peace with herself than she expected she could be. Six was right, they were a family; they took care of each other and though it was difficult for her to let others into her mind, she knew she could count on her crew to watch out for her should she ever need them. And she had.

Now that Two's restlessness had subsided, the exhaustion began to set in on her body yet her mind was still racing. As she walked back to her quarters she hoped her second attempt at getting some shut-eye would be more successful than the first. When she finally began to feel sleep begin to creep up on her she picked up a rustling sound coming from above. Immediately she looked over to her nightstand where her gun holster sat and moved to grab her weapon. She heard the noise again and when she realized the source of the sound she began to relax.

_Five. It's just Five_

The shuffling seemed to move past her vent, heading away from the quarters.

"Hey"

She called out gently, hoping to coax the teenage girl into responding.

Two almost began to think that she wouldn't be getting a response at all when Five's head appeared from the vent as she slipped down and landed a few metres away from the bed.

"You okay?" Two asked, sitting up

Five simply nodded. Immediately, the older woman could sense something was wrong.

"Hey, what is it?" She tried again. Even in the dim light she could see the teenager's disheveled appearance. She looked pale and uneasy as she fiddled with the sleeve of her pyjamas.

"I woke up from a nightmare, I... I couldn't fall back asleep so I decided to explore the vents. I'm sorry to have woken you."

Her voice was shaky and almost sounded out of breath. Two hated seeing Five so disturbed, even if it was from her own imagination. But dealing with the burden of monsters that haunt during sleep was all too familiar for her.

"Hey, it's alright. I couldn't sleep either."

Two paused for a moment, hesitant to continue but as she took in the young girl's shivering image and scared features, she gave in to her instincts.

"Come here." She added lifting the blanket aside to make room for Five to crawl in.

Within a heartbeat Five rushed towards her and wrapped her arms around Two's neck.

Not expecting the sudden embrace, it took Two's mind a brief moment to catch up. Five's small body felt cold and she was still shaking.

Instincively, Two wrapped one arm around the girl, used her free arm to grab the edge of the blanket she had previously moved aside and covered Five with it.

She continued to stare into the darkness, and after a few moments of silence Five's small voice reached her ears.

"Two?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here for me. I know this must be a little weird for you because you're always so distant, especially in front of the others. But you always make time for me even when you're busy. So thank you."

She felt Five shift in the covers and try to suppress a yawn.

Two wasn't sure how to respond. She was glad her presence was welcome, and she hoped she could seem less distant to Five in the future. Though Five was right; it wasn't in her nature to display this much affection towards others. But she knew Five found comfort in it, and she would do anything for Five.

Two had her own hardships she still had to work through; they all did. But with the support of this small and broken family that she had found in the crew of the Raza, she was certain the path would be easier, and eventually she would be able to let go.

"Always, Five."

She whispered softly into the darkness, listening to Five's even breaths before she closed her own eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Thank you for reading this! I really felt like Six was kind of the protector type of friend, especially to Five but we also see how attentive he is towards Two during S2 E9 when Two almost dies, so that was kind of what I was going for in this fic.

The song lyrics from the beginning are from Let Go by Joseph William Morgan, and I was listening to Reasons to Stay by Kate Vogel, Two by Sleeping at Last, Better Than I Know Myself and Runnin' both by Adam Lambert.


End file.
